Posts Tagged: conmen

Business / Freelancers — No Comments
9
Nov 09

Don’t Trust the Indians…or Asians in General

…or Eastern Europeans for that matter. To make such a sweeping statement, I’m either an advocate for ethnic cleansing or I’m a victim of what is the newest scam on the block – IT Freelancers.

It seems to me that the latest and easiest method of lifting someone’s leg up is the act of advertising services via the internet that you have no hope of ever delivering, at a more than reasonable price, to be paid for up front by unsuspecting f*cking idiots, like me. It’s quite simply genius and unless I’m prepared to fly to Kathmandu for the return of my £100, I’m f*cked. The only satisfaction I’ve ever had as a result of these scams is my eventual email to the perpetrator, Subject: You B*stard.

The problem is that we in the west have much higher expectations than our friends in the east. In India, you only have to read the first page of dummy’s guide to HTML and you’re classed as a Web Designer. This is evident if you’ve ever had anything developed in India and it comes back looking like a dog’s dinner. They just don’t GET requirements in western terms and it’s no wonder half the time because they can’t speak English, and yet as though part of some cruel f*cking joke, insist on communicating in ENGLISH. Needless to say, communication is awful but consistently awful, which remains the only thing they do consistently.

Disclaimer: I am only referencing every Asian or Eastern European person that works in the IT industry in Asia and Eastern Europe. I am not making a sweeping statement unless ‘sweeping statement’ could be interpreted by the words ‘every Asian or Eastern European person’. In any case, I make no apologies and only yesterday I insulted the monster that is Nikolai Valuev and if I’m not scared of him, so I’m certainly not scared of you.

Note to Nikolai Valuev: Should you ever read my review of your physical attributes, please email me at Michael@selfmademichael.com to arrange a suitable time for you to break my body in two. I promise I’ll wait in for you and won’t consider for one moment, leaving the country.

Michael

Business — No Comments
6
Nov 09

The Edinburgh Conman and His Wife

So, I’ve just finished a conference call with a well known liquidation company in London. Since the September 2008 realisation that I’d had my pants well and truly pulled down by an accomplished conman, I’ve taken it upon myself to make him pay. By this, I mean I’ve dedicated my life to collecting evidence and passing it onto the authorities, whilst also intimidating him by any means necessary within the confines of the law…..most of the time. The conference call also hosted a number of individuals that have been stupid enough to re-invest with this man on the basis of setting up another business venture with the objective of earning enough money to repay the original victims. Thankfully they have now seen the light (because every penny has disappeared mysteriously)  – it looks like this arsehole and his wife will be doing bird sooner rather than later. I can only hope his future cell mate is a 6’ 4” raging homosexual with a huge tool and a dose of the clap during a time that will be forever remembered in history as the great Vaseline famine of the 21st century.

Thinking about it, it would put an even bigger smile on my face if he (the raging homosexual) were to specialise in not taking no for an answer and thinks of physical rejection as nothing more than playful foreplay.

Michael